Edwards has one sure vote

Edwards has one sure vote

G.D. Gearino, Staff WriterThere are a lot of ways that people see John Edwards: friend of the working man, advocate for the poor, pretty-boy pretender to the presidency, merciless trial attorney cloaked in faux humility, etc.Carolina-born comic Frank King sees Edwards as his ticket off the cruise ship circuit.
Edwards, the Raleigh lawyer who served a term as a U.S. senator, has now officially launched his second quest for the Highest Office in the Land. (I'm talking about the presidency, not Alabama head football coach.) Likewise, King has launched his second quest to become Edwards' Dana Carvey -- which is to say, the fellow who does such a spot-on impersonation/parody of the president that he wallows in glory, riches and chicks.
Actually (part one), King's wife is a knockout, by all accounts, so he'll probably settle for the glory and riches.
Actually, (part two), King likely would settle for merely never having to set foot on a cruise ship again.
King does stand-up comedy, you see, and a stand-up comic goes wherever the gigs take him. A couple of weeks ago, King found himself aboard a ship trolling the Caribbean, doing three shows for a seagoing audience that was heavy on retirees. That's not exactly a to-die-for gig for comics, King says: "It's the methadone of corporate comedy."
Translation: It's enough to get by, but it ain't the good stuff.
When Edwards made his first run at the presidency in 2004, and subsequently became the No. 2 on the Kerry/Edwards team (aka The Good Hair Ticket), King thought he'd hit the lottery. He looked like Edwards -- especially after getting a hair makeover and adding a latex device to square off his jaw -- and he sounded like Edwards. All he needed was for Edwards and John Kerry to win the election.
Well, we know how that turned out.
King hopes 2008 will have a different result. Truly, deeply, fervently hopes that Edwards wins the Democratic nomination and then the presidency. There's no mystery why King wants that: The leading George Bush impersonator makes far more money than the president himself. Bush pulls down $400,000 a year, while impersonator Steve Bridges demands close to $20,000 per appearance -- and averages something like a dozen gigs a month. You do the math.
So long, cruise ship. Hello, Mr. Banker, where shall I drop these sacks of cash?
Still, it's a long shot. Edwards already faces a crowded field of Democratic presidential contenders, both announced and all-but-announced. Also, Edwards isn't the fresh-faced newcomer he was in 2004. That title goes to Barack Obama, the young, trim, photogenic Illinois senator who's sure to siphon off some of the heartthrob vote.
Speaking of Obama, here's King/Edwards on his competitor: "The words we hear describing him are slender, lean, thin. But enough about his political experience."
On a "proposal" to ban Republicans from occupying airline seats on the emergency exit row: "They've got no exit strategy."
On George Bush's unhappiness with partisan strife in Iraq: "He's gonna order an attack on Partistan."
It's gold, Frankie. Gold.
Columnist G.D. Gearino can be reached at 829-4802 or dang@newsobserver.com.
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